The holy father of John cena. When John Reveals that his father left him at the age of 7 to become a heavenly exotic dancer, Jesus reveals himself in the form of an amphibian and tries to pressure Day into taking cold medicine. Day finally agrees after being tortured with hemp candles. He accidentally takes too much, and his sinuses become too clear and he passes out. Jesus steals his wallet, and John Cena leaves Day to get a drink at the local bar. He sees Jeus there, blowing all of Day's stolen money on a slot machine. John Cena braids his hair to the chair he is siting on, and lights the slot machine of fire. Jesus escapes, and refuses to forgive John. John knows he made the right decision.

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